The Bear. It’s bad enough that we have to share the world with them but now there’s a new thing, they are starting to use manners. They are being polite to deceive us that they’re cute and cuddly critters just waiting to rip out our jugular!
There are reports of a bear that has been robbing a candy store and politely taking one piece of chocolate at a time and eating it, minding where he put his wrappers and garbage. The monster was reported on July 25th to breaking and entering Rocky Mountain Factory Chocolate Store in Estes Park helping himself to some English Toffee, Large Chocolate Chip cookies that are known as “Cookie Bears.”
Let’s stop right here before I go on with the report. A bear illegally breaks in and steals food that are called Cookie Bears not only is this fuzzy hulk well on his way to robbing liquor stores and selling crystal meth, he’s a cannibal!
The article goes on to say the polite bear made several trips into the shop, prying the door open with his massive, razor sharp claws (okay, the report says that it was a faulty lock but STILL HE HAD BIG SHARP CLAWS!) and taking sweets to eat. He’d then go outside, sit on the sidewalk, eat them and then come back for more. Polite bear is going to become obese bear if he doesn’t watch his saturated fats!
The bear did not leave a mess, but I know a lot of criminals that are neat and tidy. This bear should not get a pass! I say we throw him behind bars and make him juggle balls in a circus the rest of his life!
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I think the scariest thing about the article is this:
As word of the bear’s visit spread, customers at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory have been curious to taste the treats he sampled, with Adams reporting a boom in business.
OMG! The bear has zombie human followings! Soon these zealot humans will be dressing like bears and leading a life of crime too!
In all serious – do remember that bears, while gorgeous, are wild animals. I make light of a lot of things they do but they are dangerous and it’s not some kind of animal you go up and pet and feed. Should you encounter a bear, it’s best to get out of it’s way or not get between it and it’s cub.