The year is 1604 and it’s a time of peace and happiness. The relationship between Birmingham and Atlanta has never been better. The trade routes are strong and the mutual respect for each other’s territories were high. Then came 1607 when Delta Airlines drove a wedge between the two cities and made them fight over who would acquire the mega airline.
Darkness and hate crept into each city as they did their best to court the Airbus service into their grips for money, wealth and power. Hate and lies came out, men fighting one another, children slaughtering sheep and women started using birth control. It was utter chaos as each city fought to have new money come into their town.
Delta promised a new way of life and neither city was going to stop until they won. But there was a price to go with Delta Airlines, their dark twisted menacing ways would corrupt whoever chose them but the two cities didn’t care, they needed the revenue as times had gotten hard with drought, famine and the absence of Whitney Houston.
Margaret Mitchell, a sly old woman with only a few teeth and fake hair decided to make a run for Delta coming into the city of Atlanta. She orchestrated an entire movie built on propaganda, then wrote a book about the movie. Lies and hatred that eventually won the heart of the airline to come in and settle just outside Atlanta. They flourished while Birmingham withered into a tiny small town but they remained pure at heart and honest while Atlanta grew darker and more awfuler with the new airport.
As the years rolled on, Birmingham became more agrarian and developed a strong biking community that led to wonderful trails and excellent people. A pioneer woman named Macy Gravis (born in -359 B.C.) led the way for women to be empowered on the Penny Farthing and for the first time ever, be able to get out and see a portion of the world when biking to the grocery store. (This exercise time was only allowed during their duties of ironing and cooking dinner for the stronger, smarter and more powerful sex). All the while, Atlanta continued to grow more evil and nastier giving way to gridlock traffic, crime and terrible sewer systems.
Atlanta caught wind of this biking community in Birmingham and feared it. They feared it’d take them down with their clean air system and mountain biking trails. So they set out to destroy Birmingham with their own trails that would be better, more awesome and cooler than anything Birmingham could ever imagine. That trail system is affectionately known as…
If you find yourself in Atlanta with your mountain bike and you were thinking “boy-howdy, I’d love to ride…I wonder if there are any trails here, yo” well you are in for a treat.
Go to Blanket’s Creek in Woodstock just above Atlanta. It is a short but very fun trail system. They have a cool skills course where you can practice your technical skills on drops, rocks and logs. They also have a small flow track with a giant wooden embankment where you can catch some major air if you’re into that sort of thing. (I am not, I’m not sure why anyone would willingly fling their body into the air with a good chance of them eating it when they landed – I prefer to have both tires on the ground where if I do eat it, it wasn’t because I had to practice a landing).
The great thing about Blanket’s is their trail known as the Dwelling Loop. While short, it’s super fast and very fun. It’s got fast stuff, technical stuff, a mini-flow trail (that you can opt out of if you want) and logs to hop over. Outside of Birmingham, it’s probably one of my favorite trails to ride. Another great part of the trail system is the Mosquito Flats which is, well, flat but it’s got this awesome wooden bridge you can ride that beats the hell out of any Six Flags ride you could imagine.
There’s an advanced trail there called Van Michaels and I have not done it yet but I hear it’s tougher and more technical (I have nothing to compare it to). All I know is that Van Michaels is a chain of high end hair salons in Atlanta. So one can only assume that on this trail you end up looking better than when you go in.
My only critique of Blanket’s is that it’s short (haven’t I said that like 8 times). Or at least shorter (make that 9 times) than I’d like.
So if you find yourself in Atlanta, take a trip just above to Woodstock and enjoy some fun trails!
Kate and I spent our anniversary over in Atlanta. Hey three years for me and the most awesomest and patient lady on earth!
I used to live there, Atlanta that is. I sometimes miss it…well, except for the traffic and mass amounts of hipsters in skinny jeans. But other than that, it’s wonderful. I recommend while you’re there staying at the Highland Inn. You won’t find a more unique place to visit. It’s quirky, different, romantic and authentic. You won’t get the same experience at a Best Western, that’s for sure.
Also, try the Brick Store or Leons in Decatur for the best selection of beer. Or go tour Little 5 Points and see what all the homeless peeps are up to. Hungry for some bad carbs? Try the Vortex…sweet. delicious. Vortex.
Like Art? You know, like real art…visit the High Museum in Midtown. Like weird subculture stuff? Try the Silver Scream Spook Show. Oh, oh you’re one of those people that like lounge and tiki music…then you should go see Big Mike with Tongo Hiti.
I’m sorry, did you say breakfast? Yeah, West Egg has got you covered (as long as you get there early).
Atlanta has got all sortsa kinda shit you won’t see anywhere else and it’s fun to visit, as long as you visit the things I just said. If not, you’ll end up in Snellville…and you’ll be sad.
Here’s a short (10 times) video I did of Atlanta and our trails. I cannot stress how much I threw this video together. Between training, teaching at the local university, freelancing, designing tee’s and actually getting to see my extremely patient sweetie for more than 5 minutes – it’s hard to sit and do video editing. So go ahead and lower your expectations like by 70% when you watch this. But hey, the sound track is really rockin!
Hey did you like this post? laughed? Do you mind retweeting it and/or facebooking (is that a word??) or just telling people. The exposure is nice and it helps get the word out about this blog and what I’m doing. Thanks!